


Who said cross dressers can't find a lover?

by SPACE_GAYS_MOM



Category: Gintama
Genre: Boys' Love, Cute, Fluff, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 19:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6297109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SPACE_GAYS_MOM/pseuds/SPACE_GAYS_MOM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gin-san somehow ends up working as an okama again and the one person who he wanted to see least ends up seeing him. Read to see how this unexpected twist brings the two samurais together. This story will be in two parts so if you want the second part please comment or kudos if you enjoyed the first part and want the second part! Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Can't fix this with duct tape anymore...

**Author's Note:**

> Okama - A cross dresser  
> There will be some mentions of other animes in this fanfic!

Gintoki’s POV

 

Currently, I am dancing gracefully in front of and crowd that adores me. As I twist and turn and glide through the air, the crowd is left wanting more. That’s what I am day dreaming of anyway. In reality, I have, humiliatingly, been made to dress as a women with massive knockers if I may say so myself and to dance in front of gross old men who are drunk enough to mistake me as a real women. The song had finally ended and I hoped that I could finally leave. 

“Pako-chan! Your dancing was awful so go serve the customers now.” The big-chinned okama said and what did she mean by ‘your dancing was awful’! I’ll have you know that Gin-chan has the elegance of a swan and movements of a feather when it comes to dancing. 

*sigh* If only I didn’t go and get drunk and start spouting insults about the Okamas whilst they were right in front of me. I grimace at the memories as I remember the beating I received from the Queen of Okamas. My beautiful face still hurts a little from it. 

I went and sat down next to this old man who had drunk so much that he started talking to his own hand as if it was an actual person. He named his hand ‘Migi’. How original... 

“Hello our dear customer! Pako-chan will keep you company tonight” I said cheerfully and cutely. It made me cringe inside as I felt my pride chip off into pieces one by one. I thank the god above for not letting anyone I know see me in this state. 

“Oi! Sougo! What the hell are we even doing here?” I heard a familiar voice. I laughed nervously. There’s no way that mayo loving bastard was here. Right? I mean he’s probably busy somewhere robbing people of their tax money. That sounds about right? I mean I don’t need what’s left of my pride to disintegrate to the point that I can’t fix it back with duct tape. I slowly turned my head around and I could hear my bones creak every time I rotated my head. It was as if the anticipation of whether my pride will be lost or not made my whole body stiff. 

I got a full glimpse of the person that just walked in. I swivelled my head back at lightening speed to avoid being seen. I can feel my face distort into a look of ‘Where the hell is time machine when you need it?’. I could feel the sweat from my head drizzle down me like a storm is passing by. 

‘WHAT SHOULD I DO?’ I internally cry. It’s like a high school girl doing something beyond embarrassing and being caught by her crush. Has God finally abandoned me in my time of need? I’m pretty sure my face looks like a ghost who is losing the will to exist in this god-abandoning world.

“Pako-chan. What’s wrong?” ‘Migi’ said. I forgot that old man and his friend ‘Migi’ was here. 

“It’s nothing our dear customer! Please enjoy some more sake!” I said in a feminine voice whilst pouring the sake to the point it overflowed out of the cup.

“PAKO-CHAAAN! LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE YOU USELESS FUCKTARD OF A WOMEN!” I accidentally poured out too much sake that it leaked onto the old man’s yukata. I looked at him like I didn’t really give a damn because I really didn’t. I have too much shit on my mind to care. What does he mean women? Is he that drunk to realise that my boobs are as fake as the wig he’s wearing on his head? I’m going to show him a piece of my mind.

“HAAA? WHAT DO YOU MEAN USELESS FUCKTARD OF A WOMEN? IF YOU ASK ME I’M THE FINEST WOMEN YOU’VE MET IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE SO DRINK SOME MORE SAKE AND JUMP OFF A BRIDGE, YOU STINKY OLD MAN!” I was literally panting after that long ass complaint. Though I was surprised what happened next. Old man suddenly went super-duper sayon(1) and his clothes were destroyed in the process. He was standing buck naked with abs bigger than pickle’s (2). He then swung his fist at me and I went flying across the room. I crashed into a wall and flopped onto the ground like a dead weight. That fucking old man... How dare he hit an amazingly big-boobed women like me? He was going early to heaven than he was supposed to tonight. 

“What the fuck are you doing in my bar?” Oh shit. The demon okama was angry. Is she always angry? Is it because she’s always on her period? 

“Pako! Are you wanting another punch to the face?” 

“WHAT THE FUCK? IT WASN’T EVEN PAKO’S FAULT! IT WAS THAT WIERD MUSLCEY HARD BOILED DUDE OTHER THERE!” I jabbed my finger in the direction of the old man. 

“HA? What hard boiled dude? All I see is a drunken old man crying.” I looked to discover that the old man was in a foetus position, sucking his thumb, crying waterfalls.

“That ugly woman threatened to beat me with a stick and throw me into a river and watch me drown to my death!” He wailed. When the hell did I ever say that? All the okamas in the room glared at me as if I had done something wrong. Which I didn’t. Did no-one see me fly across the room? Or did I just magically end here somehow? I felt a large gorilla hand grab my head and painfully crush my skull to the point I could feel my brain being squished. I was thrown forcefully out of the door. Well more like through the actual doors... I landed with a thud and rubbed to head in attempt to soothe my throbbing head. 

“If you don’t take your job seriously then I’d rather throw you out! Get out of here I don’t want to see you!” 

“BU-!” The door with a hole of me got slammed shut. Shit. My clothes were still inside which meant I had to walk home like this... At least I know god doesn’t like me. Rain started to chuck down like hail. Scrap that. God hates my guts.

I get up mumbling how I didn’t want work there anyway and how my genius head could gotten damaged like that and how it wasn’t even my fault. I don’t even know how I’m going to explain to the kids why I’m dressed like this. I can picture their faces in my mind. They looked disgusted at me as if I have some kind of weird fetish and then they start avoiding me and then they tell everyone and then everyone starts avoiding me and then the humiliation is too much for me and then I have no choice but to leave the city and become one of those travellers who hitch rides from random people and then... My thoughts were disturbed as I felt a hand grab my shoulders. I turned around to feel the last part of my pride blow away in the wind. 

Hijikata was the one who grabbed my shoulder....


	2. Don't tell me.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trash. I'm sorry if you find this awful...

Shit! Fucking mayo freak saw everything. To be honest it was his entire fault from the beginning. If he didn’t walk into the bloody bar and made me panic everything would be hanky-panky. 

“Oi! Yorozuya. You okay?” Did I hear that right? Did he ask if I was all right?

“Huh what do you mean? Who is this “yorozuya” you speak of?” I tried to fool him whilst pulling a macho face to convince him.

“I don’t know if you think I’m fucking stupid or just plain retarded but I know that’s you, you permy bastard!” 

“Actually I think you’re both but Gin-san doesn’t need your pity so leave me alone.” I got a painful kick to the butt which led me to fly across to the other side of the street. I felt a sense of déjà vu as I flew gracefully across the street.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR OUGUSHI-KUN?” I yelled whilst grabbing my butt in effort to soothe the pain.

“I’M TRYING TO BE KIND AND YOU’RE BEING A DICK ABOUT IT!” 

“GIN-SAN DOESN’T NEED YOUR KINDNESS SO GO SOMEWHERE AND SUCK ON SOME MAYO YOU V-SHAPED IDIOT! WHAT IF YOU RUINED PAKO-CHAN’S LUSCIOUS HAIR?”

“WHAT LUSCIOUS HAIR?! MY V-SHAPED HEAD IS BETTER THAN YOUR SILVER PERMY FUZZ BALL HEAD!” I grabbed cravat and pulled it forward so it would collide with my head. I watched him fall backwards whilst clenching his head. Fucking mayora deserved it.

“You bastard...” His tone of voice didn’t sound too great..... His tone just made you want to run the other.

“Even though I was wondering whether you wanted to come back to our headquarters to get a change of clothes.” I heard him mumble. I perked up to what he said. That sounded like a good idea. Although it did make me feel guilty for attacking him.

“Urm...” I wanted to apologize to him. I mean he did just chase after me to offer me some help. It’s just that I’m not one to say sorry to people. It’s fucking awkward.  
I just mumbled my words of apology in hopes that he had super-sonic hearing. 

“Ha? What d’ya say?” I just turned my head and blushed. What am I? A tsundere? I said nothing.  
“Well if you’ve got nothing to say then I’m leaving.” He got up from the ground and turned the other way to leave. I panicked at that moment and just grabbed his hand. I feel like a damn high school girl who is having hard time trying to confessing to her crush.

“I wouldn’t mind getting a change of clothes.” I said it so quietly that I couldn’t hear it myself but he somehow managed to hear it. 

“Follow me then.” 

{Magical time-skip brought to you by Shinpachi the glasses}  
(*hears shinpachi shouting in the background* I AM A HUMAN BEING LIKE THE REST OF YOU!)

We finally reached the Shinsengumi Headquarters and I am sat in the middle of Oogushi-kun’s room in my strawberry boxers wiping my head with a towel because of the damn rain. That mayora takes his time getting some clothes for me. Though I must say his room is very plain. All there was were a desk full of paperwork that was neatly organised and a creepily well detailed picture of mayonnaise on the wall. I heard footsteps coming closer to the doors. I craned my head to the door. Hijikata-kun came back with yukata in his hand and threw it at my face. I was going to shout at him for being so rude but he is being weirdly nice to me so I let it slide. 

“I’ll wait outside for you to get dressed.” He told me whilst sliding the door close. I grabbed the yukata he gave me and realized that this was his yukata. I got a little embarrassed. Who has ever heard of being given a yukata by another man that you happen to hate? I put it on regardless. Surprisingly it fit me perfectly. Me and that mayora must be round about the same size. 

“I’m done Oogushi-kun!”

“Took your time and stop fucking calling me Oogushi-kun. There’s no one in this entire anime called Oogushi-kun!”

“What you on about Oogushi-kun? You are Oogushi-kun. *GASP* Don’t tell me that Oogushi-kun is having a identity crisis ?” I could see vein’s popping out of the mayora’s head. I loved pissing him off so much. He just took a box of cigarettes out and lit one up to take a puff.

“Do you remember anything before from when you got drunk and got captured by those demons?” I tried thinking back to that point but all I got was static like when you can’t get any signal for your TV. 

“No I can’t. What happened?” Then it hit me.

“Wait don’t tell me I slept with someone and now they wanna marry me and live with me?” 

“NO! Where’d ya get that assumption from?” 

“Past experience....” Hijikata-kun just stared at me with complete confusion and disgust.

“Anyway. What are you even trying to say Mayora?” I said to try and change the subject. He went silent. He took a puff of his cancer-stick. He looked like he was trying to calm himself down before telling me some kind of grave news. I panicked.

“Don’t tell me some kind of strange shinigami asked me to help him commit suicide and I actually did it and now you’re trying to press charges of murder?!” He punched me straight in the cheek.

“Where the fuck are you even getting these strange assumptions from?” 

“Past experience.” I said very bluntly. Hijikata just sat back in his original position and pretended what just happened didn’t occur. 

“What actually happened was tha-“ 

“DON’T TELL ME THAT SOME KIND OF NICE OLD LADY AS-!” I got an uppercut to the jaw and shut me up from speaking. 

“CAN YOU BE FUCKING PATIENT AND WAIT FOR ME TO FINISH MY FUCKING SENTENCE?!” He sighed from the stress I was giving him. I sat back in front of him and looked at him with anticipation. What the hell did I even do this time?

“Please say what you were going to say, Hijikata-kun.”

“I don’t know if this is your true feelings but you confessed to me when you were drunk....” I stared at him with shock. I turned my head round and then swiveled back looking like normal.

“Please say what you were going to say, Hijikata-kun.”

“DON’T PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED AND RE-EDIT THE SAME SCENE INTO THE FANFICTION!” I looked away from the Mayora. To ashamed and embarrassed to even face him. I wish I could disappear right now. Damn you author-san. This is all you fault. Why are you doing something so humiliating to me? As I was in despair, something tapped me. I knew it was Mayora so I refused to react.

“You know I was happy you confessed because regardless if you said it was because you were drunk, you confessed to me and....” What was he trying to say? What’s with this stupid otaku author? This was starting to get cliché. I think she watches too much of them Shounen ai animes....

“And what?”

“You said things like how you wish you were a girl because I would never look at you because you were a man. Then you started spouting shit about how okamas had it easy and then you got beat up into a pulp. Then you got dragged away whilst leaving a trail of your own blood before I could reply to you....” 

“You didn’t have to say the last part. I can remember that...”

“Oh sorry.”

“No need to apologize.”

We both sat there in silence. With me not looking at that person. I just want to die at this point. I then felt arms wrap around me from the back. I tensed up. Someone’s head dug into the nape of my neck and I could feel their warm breath on my neck. 

“Y’know. I love you too.” My eyes widened. I just turned myself around and hugged back the person who just confessed. I inhaled his scent and no words were spoken because we both knew how each other felt. Maybe I don’t have to an actual girl to get the one I loved. I just had to be myself and dress up as one instead.

 

Extention (Just for you :D) (Hijikata’s POV) When the perm head hugged back I knew we were feeling mutual and I couldn’t be happier. Then I could see a flash of light from the corner of my eye coming from the gap of my a jarred door. Like a flash you get when you take pictures with a camera. I looked to see a grinning(and also a very sadistic looking) Sougo holding a device that I suspect to be a camera. “SOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUGOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” I let go of my lover and chased after that little bastard waving my katana around. He’s so commiting seppuku when I catch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my first fanfics. Please leave kudos and comments if you liked it. If you enjoyed my work please comment if you have a ship you want me to write about!!! Peace out!

**Author's Note:**

> (1) Super-duper sayon - super sayian from Dragon ball  
> (2) Pickle - a character from Dragon ball as well. (Piccolo)


End file.
